Hello again!
It’s been a while since I hopped on here — and for good reason. 2022 was a long, busy, complicated, and exhausting year, and I found myself working a little too hard by the end of it. I saw a rare opportunity to take some time off for the first and only time this year, so I took it — a few very fortunate weeks of no work, no class, and nothing to do but spend time with the people I love and work on my reading list.
I want to say that I’m grateful for the stars finally alining in my favor, but I know that’s unfair. I used to invest a lot more in the idea of fate, of letting some invisible, abstract force dictate the path of my life. In 2022, I had to come to terms with my own autonomy in life; I had to start really taking responsibility for my own future. The world is not always so fair, but I’m realizing that my much-needed time off has less to do with sheer coincidence and more to do with the hard work I’ve put in towards making my life better. That’s something to be grateful for.
This year, I also started this Substack and started writing for incredible local publications like MovieJawn and Left of the Dial! I’m so grateful for the wisdom and generosity of the editors and collaborators I’ve worked with in the last few months, and frankly, I am immeasurably proud of myself for finally taking the leap and actively working on a writing career. I love this work so much, and I plan to continue seeking more opportunities in the coming year.
I have a bad habit of retreating into myself when things get hard, of trying to deal with things entirely in solitude. I was a lot more prone to it when I was younger, and for a lot of the formative years of my life, I wasn’t great at real-life human connection. The music I listened to, the movies I watched, and the books I read were my gateway to the outside world for longer than I’d like to admit. But I always doubted my own drive for a career in the creative world because I never really accepted art as a necessity in life — growing up and working hard to move past my irrational fears about interpersonal relationships has helped me to truly see just how imperative it was in my life and my formation.
In all sincerity, I believe this is what I was meant to do. This is my life’s work.
I’m also getting better at balancing my life and adapting to shifting circumstances. Circumstances are always shifting! I know that I can carry a lot on my plate as long as that plate is, well, balanced. I have a lot in store for 2023: I have a great semester planned, a new job that I love, and a healthy relationship that I plan on keeping healthy. I’m starting to really work on my life for the long haul, and I know that means I need to focus on doing the best I possibly can for my final year of undergrad and working on my financial security for whatever happens post-grad. And right now, I know that means I have to take a step back from so many demands. For the next few months, I probably won’t be publishing on here regularly — and I’m okay with that.
Anyway — most of 2022 wasn’t great for me, but it was for music! Here’s my official best-of for the year, in no particular order.
Lucifer on the Sofa, Spoon (Feb 11)
Favorites: “Wild”, “Feels Alright”, “Satellite”
Blue Rev, Alvvays (October 7)
Favorites: “After the Earthquake”, “Velveteen”, “Belinda Says”
Once Twice Melody, Beach House (February 18)
Favorites: “Runaway”, “Over and Over”, “Masquerade”
Multitude, Stromae (October 15)
Favorites: “Invaincu”, “Fils de joie”, “C’est que du bonheur”
CRASH, Charli XCX (March 18)
Favorites: “Constant Repeat”, “Beg For You (feat. Rina Sawayama”, “Twice”
Surrender, Maggie Rogers (July 29)
Favorites: “That’s Where I Am”, “Shatter”, “Honey”
RENAISSANCE, Beyonce (July 29)
Favorites: “COZY”, “CUFF IT”, “HEATED”
Nonante-Cinq La Suite, Angèle (December 3)
Favorites: “Libre”, “Solo”, “Amour, Haine & Danger”
SOS, Sza (December 9)
Favorites: “Kill Bill”, “F2F”, “Nobody Gets Me”
Preacher’s Daughter, Ethel Cain (May 12)
Favorites: “American Teenager”, “Hard Times”, “Ptolomaea”
Laurel Hell, Mitski (February 4)
Favorites: “Working for the Knife”, “Heat Lightning”, “Should’ve Been Me”
Dawn FM, The Weeknd
Favorites: “Take My Breath”, “Sacrifice”, “Less Than Zero”
Thank you to everyone who read my work in 2022, and I am so excited for what’s to come.
Happy new year!! I can't wait to read more of you anywhere. xx
Happy new year! You were meant to write; keep going!